Hello to all the good people of the Shameless Protocol. I’m new here. I decided to register a couple of weeks ago, after becoming fed up with how much of an angry mess I became because of my addictions.This time around, I want to share some quick facts about me and the first years of my 23-year alcohol abuse problem.
First of all, I’d like to point out that I was born in Brazil, at 13 I moved to Canada and at 15, my parents decided to come back to their home country, Chile. I was going through all of the changes teens undergo, and it was very tough to leave everything behind and start over and over. That made it very difficult for me to have friends and my self-esteem was at an all-time low.
When I arrived in Chile, things were very hard for me.The new school, new neighborhood, new everything…made me really angry and frustrated.I never talked to my parents about these things, I was a really shy kid. Amidst all this confusion, I became some sort of a rebel.One way or another I stumbled upon the wrong crowd, and for my 16th birthday, i got drunk for the very first time.Like REALLY drunk. I made out with a drunken girl for the first time, and the next day I thought: I fucking love this shit!
After two years of abuse, they put me in Rehab. Like, a legitimate rehabilitation center, with nurses and all.I only spent a month there, and my idiot father asked the doctor to put an implant on me, one that would reject alcohol whenever I tried to drink my dad thought this was the final solution to my problem. Dad has always been like that, if your problem bothers him, he’ll just try some money/practical solution for things to go away.I love him anyway, he’s just dad, you know? His heart was in the right place.
The thing worked, but only for a year.The implant dissolved, and back I was, off the wagon again. At this point, i had a girlfriend.She got pregnant, and at 19 I had to move from home, start working and all that. So I didn’t even finish my high-school years.I dropped out of school and moved on. My parents thought this was a good thing, that it would change my life, and that I would become a “productive member of society” (as people love to say).They nearly forced me to marry, they told me “it’s the right thing to do” and that they knew what was good for me…and I did, they convinced me, my parents were really really happy.I thought back then “Maybe they ARE right.”
It was hell. With all my drinking and my wife’s codependency, there was little space for an adult relationship.Besides, i was constantly shuffling through minimum wage jobs, I drank every night, I would be constantly hung over and did an awful job at parenting.I ended up separating from my wife at 23 years old. With no job, no money and more anger and self-esteem problems than ever, I went back to Mom and Dad’s, where things didn’t significantly improve either.
I’ll leave you guys here.I don’t wanna drag on for too long.Besides, there will be time for more stories.
I share this part of my story because I know a lot of people go through this in their teens.And sometimes it’s crucial to learn the difference between good and bad advice.If you’re dealing with heavy alcohol consumption, chances are you’ll be stuck there for a while, and it’s very important not to make big,life-changing decisions during this periods.People will always try to give you advice,on what they think is better for you.But unless they don’t fully understand what a teen alcoholic go through, they’re full of shit.
Bottom line: take your time, don’t rush it, there is no magic cure for alcoholism. Therapy, AA Meetings, talking to a good friend, reaching out to your family, a healthy hobby…those are all good ways to cope with addiction, just don’t make big decisions other than getting sober or at least improve your life before moving towards the rest of your life.
BTW, English is not my primary language, so if anything in here doesn’t make sense, just message me and I can clear things out for you.Also if any of you guys need to talk privately, just message me.I don’t reply instantly, but I’ll get around to it at some point of the day.
See you around people
Peace and Love to all.